20.11.15

An entertaining nights viewing, possibly.



As part of my pack of information I received a DVD of patient information.
This is produced by the Elective Orthopaedic Centre (OCE) out in the wilds of Epsom. It is a practical video, moving through all the stages of the hospital stay and beyond.

There were lots of talking heads, generally the head of the division that they represented. They do 5000 procedures a year. And are world leaders. The wards look clean and modern and they have some strict suggestions for pre-operation, including a visit to the dentist and a flu jab. Both of these I'm going to try to chase down. They have low rates of infections for good reasons. They also want people to cut back on the booze, this could be harder than finding a NHS dentist appointment in December!

There were no real surprises, I have read all the pamphlets they sent. I suspect we are going to need a sexy toilet seat for the first little while and carry a firm cushion for the tube and other sitting experiences. I am currently looking at options to decorate the compression stockings.
It was validating to see my stick my leg out behind me yoga pose for picking up items is a "hip safe" effort. I would like to see what they make of my broken crane yoga wobbling pose I use for putting on my socks.

The patients show were generally old except for the young man in suit trousers and shirt, I think they found him by advertising for a job and filmed the interview. Mind the surgeon speaking to him was in his scrubs and frankly had such an odd head covering we thought he may have been a Dr Who extra.
I learnt there was a colour code with the nursing staff but sadly it was not traffic light colours.

They educated about correct use of crutches and canes, no martial arts involved with that, frankly, again disappointed. I am seriously thinking about inventing a walking stick martial art. They showed a walking frame too, ye olde zimmer frame, still not as cool as the walking frame I had when I was six. It I have to use one of those in the real world I will be adding flames and go faster stripes.

There was a brief moment I thought they we going to talk about post op sex, something I interested in and I am lead to believe is Mr Gin. But no, I have to ask for a separate pamphlet for that excitement. To quote a friend it is like, "GO and read the erotic fiction in the tie in book" That's so lame! When I get the pamphlet I will share it with you, I expect it to be very clinical and unimaginative.

There was no operations show, there was even a trigger notice on the cover saying this. I was disappointed, now considering if they ask to film the op, to ask for a copy. A bit gross and morbid but play to your strengths.

So, in short the DVD was entertaining but lacked any gore or adults scenes.

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