Discharged from Physio. 4 months gone!

Physio is over.  I had my final session with the Whipps Cross team.

The Physio is happy with how things are going. There is still a long way to go in building up the muscles in the operated leg but oddly one set were stronger than the good leg.

I am in two minds about being discharged. I am not happy with my walk at all. I am over extending my knees because my body thinks this the most stable position which is not what normal people do. Hypermobility is proving, once again a challenge. My joints really don’t behave in a normal fashion and what feels right is not necessarily the best for the joint. My knees are not happy with the over extending but it difficult to stop. I need more strength in both legs and my balance needs improving to push the knees into a less stressful position. I know what to do but really not sure how to get there.  I am trying to concentrate on not over flexing my knees.  My back is feeling this quite a bit as my gait moves between limp, over flexing and looking like I’m drunk, lots of the muscles I am either not used to using or changing the old movement. It has been painful but I am not going to stop. I am trying to do planks to get my core strong but of course I cannot feel when I am wonky!

I am going to get there and if I don’t see an improvement in the walk in the next couple of months I will be seeing a private physio because I am not going give in. Also some new sneakers because the ones I have are all wonky from my old walk.

The Whipps Cross physio said that I may have to settle for a strange gait. I am not sure I want to settle. My legs are the same length, I have more movement than I have ever had and Mr Hutt has given me a hip that is much more natural than the one I had. I don’t think I’m asking too much to want a walk that is close to normal.

I will be trying to do the five exercises I have been given, a lot of walking, some swimming and a bit of bike riding. I may even try to lose some weight!

I have just passed the four month mark and I have celebrated this by having a really normal night! I went to a friend’s birthday party all dressed up including my heavy black heeled New Rock boots. I have not worn them since last October, with a lot of tramadol. Saturday night was great fun, I was dressed up, there were lots people I knew and new people to meet as well drinking and… wait for it… dancing! Yes, dancing.  A friend’s band played at the party and I got up and had a boogie. I had been sensible and pulled up a barstool so I was sitting and able to see. I got up, had a boogie and even a bit of a bounce. I can jump, in New Rocks!
This was a surprise to me and my friends very welcome surprise, it is a big step towards normal. I figured I would pay the next day but no, I had the normal slightly bruised feeling in my toes. This was the biggest surprise. For this me this means I starting to move away from ‘safe’ shoes and into outfits I have missed!

Just keep swimming

Swimming, swimming, I have got back into the water about three weeks ago. The first swim it took me 20 minutes to do 400 metres.  Not bad but not brilliant. The most I have managed is 800 in 30 minutes but that wiped me out and I didn’t go the second time in the week. This week I have done 700 m and 650 m, not too bad.

I am slowly now working my way up to 1000m in 30 minutes, twice a week. Doing some kick board work as well. I am finding that the most interesting because the lack of power in my right leg is quite noticeable in that context.  I have notice with extra work the muscles can feel heavy. Not the whole leg, just bits. It is weird and I am not sure what is causing it, I figure it is just because I am working some these muscles harder than they have every worked. It is not the most pleasant feeling but I hope it will pass.

The amazing bit was 25m of Butterfly because someone asked if I could do it. And I did. Considering my left shoulder is still unhappy from the crutches I was pretty impressed.

Walking continues to bit of a frustrating situation; I just cannot seem to get it right. My knee feels off and I am really not sure what I am doing wrong. I can make the waddle almost disappear but with HUGE amounts of concentrating.  I am really hoping it becomes natural because at the moment it is hard work but on the other side the waddle is hard work too. Hopefully the physio next week can give me some more help. I am not going to waddle for the rest of my life, this new hip is too nice to be exhausted by waddling.

Walk like a hippie

It is a long weekend in ye olde Britain. On the hip front we have been doing well, Mr Gin has friends in Cheltenham, which is where we spent Saturday in this pleasant town. We walked quite away. My walking is getting better but I don’t have huge amounts of stamina. We figure I walked about 3 km in about 40 minutes. Not all in one go but it didn’t wipe me out completely. (I must learn to not sit for hours as well, I do love good company, they do distract me to a point of forgetting to get up.)

Sunday was another walk Sunday, we walked into our local town centre, roughly 2 km, then a bit of a wander, film and then walking home (via a baby pop up bar for a pint).  Less tiring than Saturday’s walk, which meant heading out to my first gig since the hip operation went well. The good thing about many goth gigs is they are not overly crowded and this one I knew a lot of the people there. Making me comfortable that I wasn't going to get knocked over.

Monday it was a rest day and then a brief walk to the local shops. I did do a lot of physio exercises.
There is going to have to be a lot more walking because that, along with the swimming and the exercises is going to improve my walk. Which is why I am going to try to walk back from the bus station a couple of times a week along with the swimming and bit more effort in the physio exercises.

Three months and I got in trouble

I have hit the three month mark, the sweet spot where a lot of the serious healing is apparently done.  I pleased with this, life is slowly approaching normal.

I did get in trouble though, at the 12 week mark.  My physio told me right off. I have really struggled to do my exercises now I am back at work. Work is still hard going, even though I sit in a chair all day I am exhausted. I come home and do all the things, cooking and generally home things. All I want to do is collapse on the couch!

I did get in the swimming pool and that went well, I started with 400m and that actually felt great.  Hard work but I am not as unfit as I thought I was. The extra movement from the joint is amazing in the pool.

The physio did also help with the walk, my core muscles are weak and I need to tighten them when walking. Also be more defined with my heel to toe walking, I have so very bad habits from when I limped. I am hoping all this will become second nature and the waddle not return when tired or not concentrating.
I just need to get over this tiredness and do my exercises.

Positive post, moving forward.

So, after the previous post it is time to do a post full of joy!

So in the past month there has been some very steady progress. I am going to compile them in sort form. They may not mean much to you but for me, they are big deals.

I attended a wedding armed with a crutch and wearing high heels and corset. I ditched the crutch early on and stood, walked and chatted most of the night in said heels and corset. I reverted to the backup sneakers late in the evening and had, in general a wonderful time.

I have pretty much eliminated all pain killers. I am no longer taking any drugs besides the odd paracetamol.

I went to Hastings with Mr Gin and another mate, we walked all over, including up the steep hill to the castle. (It takes a lot to stop me checking out a castle.) Mr Gin estimated we walked 6 to 7 kilometres. We don’t think I've walked that far in a day for a good nine months.

I can easily walk to the long bus stop and have walked to one of our train stations, regular like.

I have stood on a bus, for a couple of stops.

I have pretty much abandoned walking aids of any sort. I do carry a stick for when I get tired, but that is a last resort type of thing.

I can get down on one knee in order to do my shoes up, it is still awkward and quite stiff but I am getting there.

Stairs are slowly getting there, the ones at home are proving a challenge as they are deep and bit steep. I am still struggling with the corner.

I got up and down some portable steps to paint a door, it was not a difficult thing. It was soothing to be able to something so practical.

I’ve started sewing seriously again.

I vacuumed.

I had a bath, getting in was a challenge and getting out was a touch entertaining, having to turn over get up from kneeling position.

The waddle is slowly lessening. It gets spectacular when tired but hopefully another month and it will be gone!

I am slowly extending the time I can sit in an office chair.

I smile a lot more, a lot more. I knew I was sad and struggling with depression but not quite how much.

I still am getting implant pain but that seems to be lessening.

So all in all, not bad at all.

Proving how awesome I feel! METAL

Working for the man

I’ve been a bit quiet of recent times.
The few weeks or so has been a little more stressful than I would have liked. The main reason for this is work. I have thought long and hard about blogging about this stress because I know there are some people from work who read this. On the whole work have been really helpful, especially Occupational Health and Human Resources. Answering questions and helping with making sure I was coping.
And to honest, mentally, the whole situation has been challenging and returning to work was not something I was looking forward to. The final month or so at work was physically difficult due to pain management and astoundingly stressful. The commute was difficult and painful, my independence was eroding away and I was scheduling my out of work life so I could manage work. Even at work I wasn’t pulling my weight, pain made if difficult to think on a good day and on a bad day it was nigh on impossible.
So, going back wasn’t something I was looking forward to. Occupational Health put me in touch with a scheme called Access to Work. A governmental grant. I had contacted them early in the piece but into the lead up to the operation had lost touch with them. (A lot of things slid then.)  I realised I had not heard from them when getting organised to return to work. I called and the case manager had left and I had to start all over again. Cue crying.
Not great but they seemed pretty helpful although a little astounded that I did not have a car and did not want to drive to work.  I pointed out in the end that this was not unusual for London at all. The ball was rolling there and I was getting all the documents that work required. They wanted a fitness to work certificate before anything else happened which was a little fiddly to obtain as they are not something that is done by my GP surgery.
I was quite worried at this point I wouldn’t get paid if there were gaps between my sick leave and returning to work.  I said this and work agreed that wouldn’t happen. I had been in physically to work and a time to start the next Monday was agreed but I was a little concerned that the paper work for occ health had not gone in as promised but figured it would be all okay.
The following day I got an email that I was having my occ health appointment on the 21st, a week after I started back. I thought that was odd but figured if there was any change to the start date I would be told. I had been told over the phone that Access to Work funding would be in place for the 14th and all information would be emailed out. Before I started.
Friday afternoon I have not heard from Access to Work, I called only to find the case worker stopped work at 2:30pm.  This was suboptimal so I braced myself for the tube journey because I had not heard anything from work.
Monday morning I headed off and arrived at work feeling quite sore and tired but okay. The tube was stressful on my own and I felt pretty vulnerable. Mr Hutt’s words about falls and fractures were ringing in my ears as I navigated my way through the heaving mass of humanity that is London underground.
I got into work and my boss asked me why I was there. And I said that we had agreed to this start date. It transpired that that work wanted me to work from home and had emailed me on my work email. The one I wasn’t checking. I could have cried at that moment. The bonkers bit was that I could not have worked from home because there was someone in my desk. We log into our work PCs from home for remote access. The thought of having to turn around and head back on the tube pretty much blew all the mental effort I had pulled together to cope out of the water. What cope I had, run out.  I just wish my boss had called me when I had not responded to the email.
So home I went and tried to get my head in the right place to start work on the Tuesday, via remote access. I felt pretty out of sorts. My job although, not overly complicated has a lot knowledge to retain and remember, being off work for 8/9 weeks meant I felt I could remember very little. I felt isolated as I sat at home and tried to get my leg to be happy with sitting at desk. Even though I had being playing a lot of Minecraft, I would play a little bit then get up and do something else. Work I could not do it. 45 minutes sitting still was painful.
I also was fighting a cold that would not go and that with working from home, it was a week of fighting my body and dodgy brain chemistry. Not a good start at all.
I went back into work the following week, using the cab service.  Going through London traffic is not very stress free. There were some entertaining times and routes but at least I was not having to worry about being jostled and knocked.  The Occupational Health doctor was lovely and impressed with my new posture and the lack of walking stick. We started on a phased return which is shortened hours and slowly moving up to full time hours. Thankfully we had a shortened week so that my leg could get used to the sitting. There was a lot of implant pain but as time went on it did settle.
Being the office helped mentally as well, much more able to focus and felt a lot less out of my depth. We have some interesting times as I don’t think I could manage the three flights of stairs for fire evacuation but it looks like I will be sheltering in stairwells unless there is a serious risk.
All in all it was an sub par return to work but somethings could have been handled better because my stress levels really didn’t need that spike.  Oh well, onwards and upwards, let’s hope my first full week goes well.

Seven weeks, not seven deadly sins.

Seven weeks. Boom.

Back to work next week, not a quite a boom.

I like my job but if I never had to work again, I would be a happy camper, especially if I there was money to live comfortably. I must remember to buy a lottery tickets.

I am waiting for some information from the Access to Work lady, I am hopeful that I will get funding to help with travel.  I went into work on Tuesday, it is a bus, two tubes and kilometre walk commute, over an hour. Catching up with work people was nice; my line manager was surprised how straight I stand now. My whole posture has changed.  By the time I got home with a side trip to the doctor’s I was exhausted. I needed a two hour nap! And I had not done any work!

I am walking much better, already the waddle is decreasing but I really need to focus on the exercises. I get caught up doing other things, washing, pottering, shopping (which takes so much time) and of course, Minecraft.

I am still using the single crutch out in crowds, I am still hyper worried about being knocked.

I have had a nice week of socialising, Tuesday, a group of us came second in the pub quiz and last night I caught up with some ex-colleagues which was lovely. We have found that a few drinks does make the waddle worse. Not really surprising there.

This weekend a wedding. And hopefully but the end of the week, doing stairs like a real person and no bloody crutch outside.