Be a dear, and pass the morphine, please.

This weekend there was little change in my routine.
Normally it has been a sponge bath as I am not keen on leaping into the shower over the bath at the moment, and then a lot of giggling as my mother has put on my teds. (the stockings to fight blood clots.)
This Saturday, there was a lie in and my mother was down stairs watching the Women’s single finals for the Australian Open.  So, Mr Gin and I decided to wash my hair, something that I have not done since I left hospital. I have a buzz cut, so this is not as bad as it seems and I thankful for the failure of hair dye that resulted in the extreme, easy care haircut.
So, there was leaning over the bath and Mr Gin rinsed out my hair and halted any head long efforts into the bath. Although during this time, he did utter the words, “That is a huge bruise behind your knee.”  He showered whilst I sponged down with my squeaky clean hair.  Then after I dried most of myself, Mr Gin did my lower legs.

Then we got dressed but not before Mr Gin, put my TED stockings on, using the plastic bag method and his strength to make is a very quick effort.  Of course, the mystery bruise was photographed. The final bit was putting on my slippers.

So, why am I telling you this? Because, although, this is all very cute, it is not that sexy. Mr Gin, is being amazing but he is being a carer. He has been my picker upper, carter, bender and occasional clothes putter onner. As a partner, you are used to doing the odd tie, cuff button, dress zip or corset lacing for your love. In our case there was added shoe trying until I got slip on shoes because, I wanted to put on my own clothes.  In hospital, I was focused on being able to dress myself, at least put my own undies on.  But sometime trousers defeat me and Mr Gin helps. It feels odd and although appreciate it wish it wasn't so.

I am feeling pretty helpless at the moment, not being able to carry a glass of water or my own plate of food is demoralising and difficult. I know it is early days but still. Mr Gin is happy to help out but it is difficult for him too, he is tired, as he is doing a lot of the things I would do, my share of the cooking and cleaning.

Having said all that, he has been amazing, especially in the wee small hours when I'm struggling either with pain or just sheer frustration. On a number of nights he has got up, found painkillers, normally morphine and then held me till I slept. He took half days last week and came home, organised lunch and helped around the house.

There is a shift in our relationship and I'm looking forward to it changing back. For now I am beyond grateful for my big, hairy, bald, funny and silly partner, who four years ago did  not realise nurse was in the relationship agreement and has stuck through one of the most stressful points of my life.

Oh, and that bruise? We think that is from having to use my knee and the lever point to get my hip in and out of joint. It is amazing.

Knee bruise